Monday, November 1, 2010
I dressed up (sort of), I went to see Rocky Horror at the movies (not exactly what I expected but 6 down, 95 to go), and I carved a pumpkin. Well... I use the term "carved" loosely.
Awhile ago I Stumbled upon these really cool Martha Stewart celestial pumpkins. And I thought they were really pretty.
So I got rather excited. And lo and behold there was a punkin' carvin' soiree coming up which would provide an excellent time and location to create some Halloween wonderment.
I bought a pumpkin. I bought a carving kit.
Turns out my pumpkin had very little interest in being cut into. By the time I finally got a hole in mine, I had broken the saw from my carving kit and some people were already completely done with their newly lit jack o lanterns. I still had scraping and hole-punching and wiring to do. So I enlisted some help...
(Thank you, Grant. You are the best adopted little brother ever.)
And when the scraping was done, I was offered a screwdriver to help get the holes into the little pumpkin body. This also took some effort.
So Grant enlisted the help of Kate. And then just to make it a group effort...
Mark attacked the decidedly stubborn gourd as well.
Eventually it was ready to go. So I took my time and meticulously wired my little set of Christmas lights all throughout my soon-to-be amazing pumpkin. And nothing could have prepared me for the image that lay before me when we plugged the pumpkin in.
The lights didn't FREAKIN' work!
(Grumble grumble grumble)
Nevertheless, my disappointing pumpkin joined the ranks of all the other awesome ones on the porch.
And that evening I took it home swearing to fix it up right. I bought another set of Christmas lights. I rewired the stupid thing. I set it on my patio. And I plugged it in again. This time it lit up. Hurrah! It took hours of work and the efforts of 4 people to create...
something this lame.
You may have won this battle, Martha Stewart. But the war is far from over!
Monday, October 25, 2010
In all honesty I hope I can inspire a couple more people... because I believe in this that much. It will be cool if I can. I still have 982 days to go.
More goals coming in on the horizon. Hopefully a Rocky Horror viewing on Halloween, Epcot's Food & Wine on the 8th, and perhaps I will try my hand at something exceptionally challenging... don't complain about anything for a week. Last week (or maybe just the weekend) saw its fair share of angry craziness for no particular reason. People were just abnormally edgy. I attribute it to the full moon. Either way... this week I hope to switch that around... at least for me.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The ice cream is good. Reeeeeal good. If only vanilla beens weren't so freakin expensive I would probably make more. Although I could do other flavors as well. A chocolate Kahlua perhaps. Or a cinnamon maple for the lovely autumn weather that is finally showing up. Anyway, I did it. And it was fairly easy.
I'm realizing just how many of my goals are time consuming projects. I can categorize... at least 7 of them as "in progress" right now. But I guess it's good I am starting on them early. And I feel better having these things to focus on.
I'm still loving this project.
And I still kind of feel like I have joined a cult.
I got some not so great news today. And I know my normal reaction would have been to cry or get really angry and panic and shut down. Y'know? Just completely overreact. But I didn't. I just had a moment of "oh, that's annoying... but I'll figure it out and it will be fine." And then I went on my run. I don't know if I can express how cool it is to... recognize yourself changing. I've felt different lately. But now I actually seem to be acting differently too. Proof is reassuring.
It's going to be a really great 1,001 days.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
In high school I used to value my solo movie nights like gold. I would borrow the hell out of movies from the library (back when libraries didn't freak me out) and I'd lay directly in front of my teeny TV... or occasionally on my ridiculous inflatable chair. I think I liked it so much because... I didn't have to worry about other people's reactions to my reactions. Which for some reason, I did. I cry when happy things happen in movies. Finding movies that make me cry because they are sad is far more challenging.
That being said, Never Let Me Go made me cry from sadness. It was a depressing and heartbreaking story. I knew that going in. 30 minutes into the movie you realize there's no way it can end well. And I was fine enough being sad for the main characters. Watching their hope shatter over and over. I may have found more than one moment of teariness.
I was happy with it being a dystopian, sci-fi story about fictional people. It was the last sentence... in which the main character tried to universalize her plight that turned me off. What she said probably wasn't untrue. Regardless of when we die, most of us will reach that point wishing we had more time and thinking about the things we would have done differently. But what a craptastic outlook and message! Why would you leave an audience with that? And if that's the sentiment that is going to unify us in our humanity... I don't want to be unified.
I'm trying my damndest to stay positive lately. Forget cynicism. Abandon pessimism. The end of this movie left me... resentful and annoyed more than anything else.
So I finished my fantastic cookies, paid my bill, and have since decided to remember the rest of the movie. The haunting romantic story which I spent a content and confident afternoon taking in on my own in a comfy chair while sipping tea. (I'm a pretty darn good date by the way.)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Writing letters to myself is something I have done before. Time capsule purposes and whatnot but it's always a bit strange. I get very caught up in what pronouns to use and the whole thing makes me feel a bit schizophrenic.
It is nice, though, to step back and view myself as... another person. When I'm on the outside looking in I do so with much more faith and much less judgment. More peace, less self-loathing. It's fantastic. As I was writing them I felt, for the second time this week, an incredible sense of relief. And I really could feel this physical sense of... extra weight leaving my heart. This sounds crazy but... it happened and it was beautiful.
I don't want to jump the gun and say I am ready to let go of all the dumb, painful memories and grudges that I've been holding onto for so long... just to return to a place of anger the next time something sets me off. But... I feel more ready than I have in a long time. And I hope I can keep moving in the right direction.
I feel like I have joined a cult. But a nice cult that makes me feel good about the world AND myself. Although I suppose no one thinks they're joining a bad cult when they join. Hmmm. All I know is "drink magic kool-aid" is not on my list. And that's a good sign.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I'm excited to get back to thr 5k 101. At the beginning of last week I knocked out 2 and a half miles in the allotted 30 minutes. I realize this is not at all impressive but it was kind of a huge step for me. Jogging provides such good thinking time.
In other news... Project Bucket List is growing, or maybe merging. I was introduced to a website called the Day Zero Project. It challenges you to create a To Do list of 101 things and to accomplish them in 1,001 days. Being the To Do list oriented girl that I am, I got to work on my list right away. All the usual suspects from the bucket list are there but have now been joined by things like #14 - Pay a toll for the person behind me, #32 - Make an article of clothing, #54 - Write down my bad memories on paper and burn the paper, #75 - Attend an NBA game, and #99 - Get a better understanding of html and accounting.
It's a good array of silly, artsy, productive, adventurous, and soul freeing things and I encourage other people to try it out. Just creating the list was a great experience in and of itself. Yesterday was my first day. I haven't officially checked anything off yet but a couple are already in process. My date of completion will be July 4th, 2013. I like the idea of closing with fireworks. Perhaps this will help me to cross off #45 - Kiss someone with fireworks in the background which will hopefully work in conjunction with #44 - Fall in love.
#26 is Update my blog with every completed task. So I plan to be posting more. Especially since I am nearly done with #100 - Learn the dance from the "Love is a Battlefield" video.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I found a podcast on itunes called 5k101 and downloaded it for free. This morning was my first day. It's different from couch to 5k. Instead of teeny 20 second intervals it starts you off at 2 minutes. I think I like this better. Anyway... the last interval nearly killed me but I made it through. And I have 2 more chances to get it right this week before moving on to the next step.
Jamie and I are going to try and do the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure in October. I won't be ready to run the whole thing that soon (it will be my practice run I guess). I have my eye on the annual Turkey Trot. I hope there's one in Richmond.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
#1 - I will never meet the right boy for me. He died in a crash when he was 12. Why this belief and why these details? Not sure. But it's always been in the back of my head. And of course there have been moments (or even multi-year blocks of time) that I have thought to myself "this is silly" but even silly gut feelings usually exist for a reason.
#2 - I won't live past 30. Now this one isn't a plan or something I am looking forward to, or afraid of for that matter. Just another gut feeling. And when I was 14 or so and first started thinking this, 30 was some far off date that I would get to someday. Now, it's 7 months and 6 days away. And there have definitely been times I have thought to myself "What if I'm right?" I contemplated writing letters to all the key people in my life telling them everything I probably should tell them anyway but it turned into a terrible weeping mess... and I only made it through 2. I figure there are better ways to spend my time on the off-chance that I do, in fact, have only about a year to live.
Name: Project Bucket List
Time Frame: Now through March 28, 2011
Goal: Just be happy. And leave the world with no regrets other than that I won't be around to tell everybody "told you so."
Plan: Check off as many of the following as possible. (List has been abridged to reflect time constraints and would otherwise contain items requiring great travel and time such as walking across the Golden Gate Bridge, visiting Juliet's house in Verona, writing something brilliant, and learning to fly an aircraft of some sort. If I'm wrong - I'll add these on and start a new list!)
1. Find a boy named Tommy. Karaoke Livin' on a Prayer.
2. Shoot a gun. (A real one)
3. Get shot at. (Just paintball will suffice here.)
4. Get hair dyed at a salon.
5. Get a tattoo.
6. Go horseback riding.
7. Go camping.
8. Run a 5k.
9. Drink around the world at Epcot.
10. See the manatees at Blue Springs.
11. Swim in a lake by moonlight one more time.
This list may be added to at any time but nothing will come off it. Any suggestions and/or help and/or accompaniment is very welcome. (#3 is already paid for and I just need a buddy.) #5 is planned for October. #4 is done!
Let the games begin.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Sugar Scrub with Fresh Raspberries and Strawberries
Brownies with Toasted Pecans
Gazpacho! (This picture DOES NOT do the beautiful color justice.)
Fun Refrigerator Magnets
And Some Wall Art
(I've always preferred The Gestalt Prayer to The Serenity Prayer)
I also cleaned the bathroom, went to the gym, hit 75 on my frost mage (oooh, nerdy), and began watching October Road... which, given things on my mind lately may not be the best plan. Oh, and I read another chapter of the next Charlaine Harris book. I told myself I would finish To Kill a Mockingbird (I didn't reeeeeeeeeeeally read it in high school) before I moved onto it but... that's not really working out. Oh well.
I must say... right now life is rather grand.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Anyway, being the ridiculously emotional girl that I am, I suppose I allowed it to effect my entire day. Skipped the gym. And ate a whole bunch of bad for me stuff. And even without the dream, Thursday itself was not at all on my list of best days I've ever had. So it all flowed into Friday also.
Being an emotional girl is taxing, and being naive gets me into trouble sometimes... but I'd still take both of those traits over the jaded skeptic any day. (Granted that I have found it's good to have one or two of those jaded skeptics around to tell me to shut up and stop being a baby when I need to hear it.)
Anyway, onto the next week. I know I will probably not hit my goal this week but at least I can start catching up. I bought good for me food and am actually eating it. I did get lunch out today but it was a salad. And I am guzzling green tea and water.
That being said, I am badly prepped for tomorrow. I have not packed my lunch nor have I gotten my gym stuff together. Perhaps I can wake up extra early to do it in the morning. Fiscal year rollover at work today put me at my desk at 6:15. And after going to sleep last night at 1 - I am a tired Gina and don't think I will be seeing much more of June 1st.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Fringe Festival is my second favorite time of year, after Christmas, and it's really hard not to participate in all the shenanigans that go on. Especially considering that when I walk out of my office on weekdays, things right outside my door are already in full swing. I must say it's wonderful to have that little sanctuary amidst the festivities. The green lawn of fabulousness is surely fabulous at night... but late May afternoons in Florida are freakin hot. And regardless of how good the company, and how tasty the carnie food, and how refreshing the cider... sometimes it's nice to hang out in the air conditioning and surf the internet between shows.
I've only seen 3 shows so far and have 7 more that are on the definite to-see list. Nothing has been a let down yet. So while I am partaking in the fun-filled theatrical events I will just need to be a little more careful to not partake in too much vodka... or cider... or hot dogs... or cupcakes. Sigh... I must bust ass at the gym this week. Gotta hit 2 pounds!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Of course I ate like crap today and may have negated everything. Ah well... back on track tomorrow.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Example 1: (Real part) I am home from college. I have taken my mother to a Doctor's appointment. I've been sitting in the waiting room for quite awhile. (Imaginative part) This is taking way too long. Something must be wrong. I bet my mother has died. I don't have my father's work number memorized (this is the time before cell phones). I am going to have to drive over to the middle school and pick my sister up. The secretary who I talk to at the front counter will not allow me to take my sister out of school as I am not her legal guardian nor do I have a note from her legal guardian (my newly deceased mother). My rage and grief will burst forth from me as I tear into this woman and cause major commotion in the office. And then Mom walked back into the waiting room.
Example 2: (Real part) I am watching My Life Without Me, this movie where the main character finds out she has cancer and 2 months to live. (Imaginative part) I probably have cancer too. And a very short time to live. At what point do I tell my parents? Who do I tell first? Should I leave my job? Should I move back home? Should I blow what little money I have on some of the fun things I have always wanted to do? That seems wasteful. Who's going to take care of my cat? How will my family handle this? Do I tell them how much I love them or do I write it in letters? Do I write letters to everyone I love telling them how much I love them? And then do I write letters to people I think are jerks telling them I think they're jerks? This is going to take a long time. I should start now. Oh wait, I don't actually have cancer.
Example 3: (Real part) I'm out to dinner with the then-boyfriend. He has excused himself. (Imaginative part) Has he been gone a really long time? Maybe he's not coming back. What if he chose this moment to leave me? Maybe he couldn't stand to say it to my face so he just got in the car and drove away without saying goodbye. That sucks. How am I going to get home without a car. I should call one of my roommates. This is going to be an awkward conversation. And I don't even have any money on me. How am I going to pay for this meal? Maybe they will let me slide because of the sheer tragedy of this situation. Oh look, then-boyfriend is walking back to the table.
So anyway... we had an emergency meeting at work today and in between the time it was announced and the 5 minutes later that I was walking into the conference room I had so fully convinced myself that there was going to be an announcement of someone's death that I was nearly in tears. Thankfully I was able to pull myself together as no one was actually dead.
Is this normal or does it just mean that... I'm... creative?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Things really started out swimmingly. I met with my trainer and had a great couple sessions with him. He's funny and somewhat awkward... so y'know, we get along well. I was waking up early, hitting the gym before work, eating breakfast... EVEN drinking water. (Anyone who knows me fairly well knows that I don't drink without a very conscious effort.) Things were going along so well that I decided I would be extra productive on Wednesday and go grocery shopping on my lunch break. This was a great plan as I find grocery shopping at the Winter Park Village Publix to be like therapy. It turns out mid-day therapy is wonderful! Probably the equivalent of naptime in kindergarten. So I bought all kinds of healthy fruit and veggies.
It was as I was pulling back into the parking lot at work that I realized there was steam coming out of the hood of my car. And I suppose that was a better time for this to start happening than when I was driving down the road but... still not so great. So I brought my groceries inside and I called AAA and had them tow my poor Camry to the same place they towed it exactly one year ago at this time. Turns out my radiator cracked. There are more expensive things that could have died but unplanned car costs are never that much fun to deal with.
Luckily I have lovely people in my life who were willing to drive me around while my car was in the shop but... my groceries ended up living in the fridge at work for a couple days and getting to the gym was certainly out of the question.
And then Friday I don't even know what set it off but I got hit with one hell of a poopy mood that is still lingering a bit right now. So in reference to my last post of not allowing things to frustrate me and wondering how long that would last in practice... 2.5 days. And of course that makes me even more frustrated that I let myself be manipulated so easily. Sigh.
Anyway, I am determined to get back on track both physically and mentally this week. I can do it. Why not?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Things are going well. Was at the gym at 7 this morning and it kicked my ass... but at this point I need my ass kicked so that's good. Hopefully I will be there again tomorrow morning for some upper body. Third time's a charm with me and personal trainers. This guy is incredibly helpful and nice and makes me laugh. (We had a somewhat awkward conversation about how nice his butt is the other day.)
And that kind of ties in to what I am thinking right now...
1 - I've always been a firm believer that things are only awkward if you make them awkward. If you acknowledge strange situations it doesn't make them more awkward... I think the opposite is true. I'm not a fan of ignoring elephants. I think it's easier to acknowledge it and say "hey, there's an elephant in the room. that's weird." But them I am a pretty socially awkward person myself. So what do I know.
2 - My big realization for the day. If you want to stop being frustrated by people and things... then stop allowing them to frustrate you. This seemed profound to me today, and I think it's a beautiful theory. We'll see how long it holds up in practice.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Name: Project Weight Loss
Time Frame: Now through September 12, 2010
Goal: Lose 25 pounds (this is still about 20 pounds away from where I am supposed to be at my height but... it's where I would like to be)
Plan: Go to gym... and stop eating so much freakin gross food. It's that simple and that difficult.
25 pounds in 4 months is not at all out of reach... but it will be a challenge. Last time I lost that amount of weight I did it without even trying. When I moved to New York I started walking alot and it just kinda went away. This time around... I am actively pursuing. And if I hit my goal, I am finally getting that tattoo I want. Yay reward.
So I have had a good first day. I actually ate breakfast. And had a ridiculously tasty salad for lunch... with salsa in place of dressing. Penne with mushrooms, kalamata olives, and feta in a white wine sauce for dinner. (Oh pasta, you are so wonderfully versatile.) And some fruit and a square of dark chocolate along the way. I drank virtually no water. I swear I just don't get thirsty. But I bought a water bottle so I can really work on that.
The water bottle was one of my many purchases at Wal-mart today when I went to buy kitty litter for my little cat children. The trip to get kitty litter turned into an hour and a half ordeal that cost me more than $50. They just have so much stuff there!
So... shopping at Wal-Mart makes me feel bad about myself, it makes me violent toward other stupid people (do I become an inconsiderate idiot when I step through the doors as well?), and it doesn't actually save me money. If I had made the trip to Publix... I probably would have left with just the kitty litter and 30 extra bucks in my bank account.
Not that my buys were bad. In the summer of 2006 I bought a pair of $7 black flip flops at Wal-Mart. 4 years later, they are still hanging around. And they are the comfiest pair of shoes I have ever owned. They are well-loved, molded to my feet kinda shoes. I mean, c'mon... I live in Florida. I live in flip flops. Anyway, 4 years is a long life span for $7 flip flops...
Oh yeah... that's 3 layers of foam that's been worn through. They are disintegrating. And apparently I am picky about flip flops. The part between the toe MUST be cloth or else it's just irritating. (Also - I really really hate when people refer to them as thongs but that's a different blog.) Luckily, I found a near duplicate during my excursion today. And they are comfy and wonderful (and cheap).
The point of this story? Don't go to Wal-Mart. There is no reason. Just skip it.
Unless you are looking for flip flops.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
One day I brought in the Rachael Ray caramel banana cupcakes I had been eying for a few months. Saying he enjoyed them would be an understatement. He asked when I would bring more and I explained to him that my baking was not any kind of regular thing but I would see what I could do.
The following week Michael Jackson passed away and I brought in Grand Marnier cupcakes with strawberry icing. He devoured these even faster... to the tune of 5 within the first 30 minutes they were in the building.
Anyway, he inspired me. So in the back of my head... Project Bake has always been called Project Marcus. And if I ever open my little dream bake shop (which will alas not be called Good Day Bakery since that is taken by a place in Salt Lake City) I will probably instate a rule that anyone named Marcus can get a free cupcake.
With valid ID of course.
And for those of you wondering what this project entailed exactly... or for those of you who are curious as to what you ate during the past 10 months... I present the first video I have ever edited together. Complete with remarkably unflattering camera angles, ridiculous facial expressions, and my very annoying voice (how do people stand listening to me???). Anyway... I'm pretty proud... so...
So Project Bake is over. It's done. Complete. Grand finale a week ago today. Which David Lee said is the best thing I've ever made so maybe I progressed and that's cool. I certainly got really awesome at separating eggs. And I can make one hell of a Swiss meringue buttercream.
Yeah, 38 recipes. A whole lot of kitchen clean up. Some new baking dishes, and bowls, and a mixer. A smattering of liqueurs. I have no idea how much money. That part doesn't really matter because the point is... I finished something that I started! That doesn't happen as often as it should. I get excited about things and then kinda drop them. But this I stuck with and looked forward to every week and it ended up being a very nice consistent thing in my life when I definitely needed consistency. So it was a good project. I had fun.
Next paragraph no transition. My favorite thing in the videos is watching how long my hair has gotten between the first and the last video. My hair hasn't been this long in years. It's neat. Yay progression. My face has probably grown as well. So oddly enough, Project Bake is being followed by Project Weight Loss.
I just joined a gym and even signed up for some personal training sessions. This will probably not last long because it's not like I actually have the income to spend on a trainer but... I have a gym membership, and I'll see her for awhile and... it's all about goals. So Project Bake done. Project Weight Loss on the horizon. And life is good.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Let this not be a sign of how things will go on this blog.
Long story short because I don't feel like re-typing everything. I like having mini-goals... regardless of how inane they are. I like the silly constant they provide. So this is where I will document them.
I started my first project nearly a year ago. It's done and there is lots of documentation to catch up on. I will do this soon.
This is not a food blog. Or a craft blog. Or a weight loss blog. It's probably a little of all those things... interspersed with the life that often rears its ugly head (or pleasantly surprises me... let's not be negative right off the bat here).
May Project Blog commence. Who's excited? I'm excited!