Sunday, May 23, 2010

Week 3 - Oops

Well... I sort of made it this week. As of Friday morning I was down to my weekly goal weight. As of Saturday morning... I had gained half a pound again. What happened between Friday and Saturday morning, you ask? FRINGE!

Fringe Festival is my second favorite time of year, after Christmas, and it's really hard not to participate in all the shenanigans that go on. Especially considering that when I walk out of my office on weekdays, things right outside my door are already in full swing. I must say it's wonderful to have that little sanctuary amidst the festivities. The green lawn of fabulousness is surely fabulous at night... but late May afternoons in Florida are freakin hot. And regardless of how good the company, and how tasty the carnie food, and how refreshing the cider... sometimes it's nice to hang out in the air conditioning and surf the internet between shows.

I've only seen 3 shows so far and have 7 more that are on the definite to-see list. Nothing has been a let down yet. So while I am partaking in the fun-filled theatrical events I will just need to be a little more careful to not partake in too much vodka... or cider... or hot dogs... or cupcakes. Sigh... I must bust ass at the gym this week. Gotta hit 2 pounds!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Week 2

2 pounds down this week! Now the teeniest bit ahead of schedule. Checked Friday morning and was still 1/2 a pound away so tried to be extra good all day Friday (and my hamstrings are sore as hell). Yay working out! Yay project weight loss!

Of course I ate like crap today and may have negated everything. Ah well... back on track tomorrow.

Friday, May 14, 2010

I Do This Thing...

It's a pretty bad habit, I suppose, or maybe just an overactive imagination. Every once in awhile, for no real reason at all, my mind jumps to this place of "what is the worst thing that could possibly happen right now?" And I guess that's not entirely abnormal but... I go to this place with such commitment and such detail that I nearly convince myself that this awful thing is real.

Example 1: (Real part) I am home from college. I have taken my mother to a Doctor's appointment. I've been sitting in the waiting room for quite awhile. (Imaginative part) This is taking way too long. Something must be wrong. I bet my mother has died. I don't have my father's work number memorized (this is the time before cell phones). I am going to have to drive over to the middle school and pick my sister up. The secretary who I talk to at the front counter will not allow me to take my sister out of school as I am not her legal guardian nor do I have a note from her legal guardian (my newly deceased mother). My rage and grief will burst forth from me as I tear into this woman and cause major commotion in the office. And then Mom walked back into the waiting room.

Example 2: (Real part) I am watching My Life Without Me, this movie where the main character finds out she has cancer and 2 months to live. (Imaginative part) I probably have cancer too. And a very short time to live. At what point do I tell my parents? Who do I tell first? Should I leave my job? Should I move back home? Should I blow what little money I have on some of the fun things I have always wanted to do? That seems wasteful. Who's going to take care of my cat? How will my family handle this? Do I tell them how much I love them or do I write it in letters? Do I write letters to everyone I love telling them how much I love them? And then do I write letters to people I think are jerks telling them I think they're jerks? This is going to take a long time. I should start now. Oh wait, I don't actually have cancer.

Example 3: (Real part) I'm out to dinner with the then-boyfriend. He has excused himself. (Imaginative part) Has he been gone a really long time? Maybe he's not coming back. What if he chose this moment to leave me? Maybe he couldn't stand to say it to my face so he just got in the car and drove away without saying goodbye. That sucks. How am I going to get home without a car. I should call one of my roommates. This is going to be an awkward conversation. And I don't even have any money on me. How am I going to pay for this meal? Maybe they will let me slide because of the sheer tragedy of this situation. Oh look, then-boyfriend is walking back to the table.

So anyway... we had an emergency meeting at work today and in between the time it was announced and the 5 minutes later that I was walking into the conference room I had so fully convinced myself that there was going to be an announcement of someone's death that I was nearly in tears. Thankfully I was able to pull myself together as no one was actually dead.

Is this normal or does it just mean that... I'm... creative?

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Week 1 Down

Well, I lost my requisite pound and a half. This is so minuscule for a first week but I am trying not to sweat it because after all, I did meet my weekly goal. Plus it turned into a less than stellar week.

Things really started out swimmingly. I met with my trainer and had a great couple sessions with him. He's funny and somewhat awkward... so y'know, we get along well. I was waking up early, hitting the gym before work, eating breakfast... EVEN drinking water. (Anyone who knows me fairly well knows that I don't drink without a very conscious effort.) Things were going along so well that I decided I would be extra productive on Wednesday and go grocery shopping on my lunch break. This was a great plan as I find grocery shopping at the Winter Park Village Publix to be like therapy. It turns out mid-day therapy is wonderful! Probably the equivalent of naptime in kindergarten. So I bought all kinds of healthy fruit and veggies.

It was as I was pulling back into the parking lot at work that I realized there was steam coming out of the hood of my car. And I suppose that was a better time for this to start happening than when I was driving down the road but... still not so great. So I brought my groceries inside and I called AAA and had them tow my poor Camry to the same place they towed it exactly one year ago at this time. Turns out my radiator cracked. There are more expensive things that could have died but unplanned car costs are never that much fun to deal with.

Luckily I have lovely people in my life who were willing to drive me around while my car was in the shop but... my groceries ended up living in the fridge at work for a couple days and getting to the gym was certainly out of the question.

And then Friday I don't even know what set it off but I got hit with one hell of a poopy mood that is still lingering a bit right now. So in reference to my last post of not allowing things to frustrate me and wondering how long that would last in practice... 2.5 days. And of course that makes me even more frustrated that I let myself be manipulated so easily. Sigh.

Anyway, I am determined to get back on track both physically and mentally this week. I can do it. Why not?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

On My Mind

Not really a project update but I suppose I should say something while I'm here.

Things are going well. Was at the gym at 7 this morning and it kicked my ass... but at this point I need my ass kicked so that's good. Hopefully I will be there again tomorrow morning for some upper body. Third time's a charm with me and personal trainers. This guy is incredibly helpful and nice and makes me laugh. (We had a somewhat awkward conversation about how nice his butt is the other day.)

And that kind of ties in to what I am thinking right now...

1 - I've always been a firm believer that things are only awkward if you make them awkward. If you acknowledge strange situations it doesn't make them more awkward... I think the opposite is true. I'm not a fan of ignoring elephants. I think it's easier to acknowledge it and say "hey, there's an elephant in the room. that's weird." But them I am a pretty socially awkward person myself. So what do I know.

2 - My big realization for the day. If you want to stop being frustrated by people and things... then stop allowing them to frustrate you. This seemed profound to me today, and I think it's a beautiful theory. We'll see how long it holds up in practice.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Project Weight Loss and a Wal-Mart Adventure!

It's the first of the month. Seems to me like a good time to start a new project. So here we go...

Name: Project Weight Loss
Time Frame: Now through September 12, 2010
Goal: Lose 25 pounds (this is still about 20 pounds away from where I am supposed to be at my height but... it's where I would like to be)
Plan: Go to gym... and stop eating so much freakin gross food. It's that simple and that difficult.

25 pounds in 4 months is not at all out of reach... but it will be a challenge. Last time I lost that amount of weight I did it without even trying. When I moved to New York I started walking alot and it just kinda went away. This time around... I am actively pursuing. And if I hit my goal, I am finally getting that tattoo I want. Yay reward.

So I have had a good first day. I actually ate breakfast. And had a ridiculously tasty salad for lunch... with salsa in place of dressing. Penne with mushrooms, kalamata olives, and feta in a white wine sauce for dinner. (Oh pasta, you are so wonderfully versatile.) And some fruit and a square of dark chocolate along the way. I drank virtually no water. I swear I just don't get thirsty. But I bought a water bottle so I can really work on that.

The water bottle was one of my many purchases at Wal-mart today when I went to buy kitty litter for my little cat children. The trip to get kitty litter turned into an hour and a half ordeal that cost me more than $50. They just have so much stuff there!

So... shopping at Wal-Mart makes me feel bad about myself, it makes me violent toward other stupid people (do I become an inconsiderate idiot when I step through the doors as well?), and it doesn't actually save me money. If I had made the trip to Publix... I probably would have left with just the kitty litter and 30 extra bucks in my bank account.

Not that my buys were bad. In the summer of 2006 I bought a pair of $7 black flip flops at Wal-Mart. 4 years later, they are still hanging around. And they are the comfiest pair of shoes I have ever owned. They are well-loved, molded to my feet kinda shoes. I mean, c'mon... I live in Florida. I live in flip flops. Anyway, 4 years is a long life span for $7 flip flops...

Oh yeah... that's 3 layers of foam that's been worn through. They are disintegrating. And apparently I am picky about flip flops. The part between the toe MUST be cloth or else it's just irritating. (Also - I really really hate when people refer to them as thongs but that's a different blog.) Luckily, I found a near duplicate during my excursion today. And they are comfy and wonderful (and cheap).

The point of this story? Don't go to Wal-Mart. There is no reason. Just skip it.

Unless you are looking for flip flops.